You haven't done anything ethically questionable as far as I have observed.
Was simply offering some advice regarding certain things you can do to improve your chances of landing a competent designer and getting what you want.
When I brought up the time investment and back-and-forth scenario, I was simply presenting a scenario I have seen way too often, and also happens to be one that causes a lot of problems with web design projects.
Jason appears to be making his argument from a U|X standpoint, which originates from the philosophy that you should focus on providing usability and delight to the end user.
Both of us just want to see you succeed, man. Please don't take our comments as an attack on your character or anything like that.